Concern over a relapse is often on the mind of this recovering alcoholic. Although I am deadly serious about never picking up a drink again, I understand that this disease is more powerful than my personal will. I understand that a tragic event or a series of setbacks in life could threaten my sobriety. Alcohol was for years my method to deal with adversity and an unexpected event could land me right back in the bottle. Also, just simple apathy or complacency could open me up for a relapse. I must thoroughly believe that my disease is patiently lying in wait for that moment of weakness and is ready and poised to pounce at the right moment of weakness, throwing me back into that endless cycle of misery and helplessness.
Knowing that challenge is awaiting me and also believing that these significant threats are a matter of when not if, I have decided to take action to prepare for this epic battle of the mind. I have drawn my analogy from my military background; I have called my plan of defense “My Sentries.” I imagine in the Middle Ages there was a king who decided not to take the necessary steps to properly protect himself against his enemies. He did not build an adequate wall to keep out his enemies. He did not surround himself with personal guards and refused to spend the funds on a well trained and equipped army. The moat around the castle was probably too much trouble to dig and maintain. He was too busy to study his enemies and their intentions. The result was probably an invasion from an unexpected enemy resulting in him losing his throne or even his life. Even today, countries and important figures guard against threats and enemies. Imagine the President of the United States of America deciding that he did not need the Secret Service and deciding to conduct his daily business out among the population with no concern of assassination. Most sane people would consider this decision foolhardy and possibly insane.
A recovering alcoholic would also be insane not to take the necessary steps to prevent a relapse. I surround myself with my sentries. The first line of defense is my fellows who I see at meetings and socialize with as often as possible. They are fellow alcoholics who have a common goal to remain sober. The second line of defense is the meetings I attend. These meetings remind me of who I was and how much I still need to learn each day. The third line of defense is the steps which, if I live them daily and make them part of my life, give me the armor against attack from my disease. The fourth line of defense is my service to others who are fighting the same battle as I. The fifth line of defense is staying away from old haunts. This is my castle walls and my moat. It keeps me far away from the people, places, and things that may tempt me to relapse. The sixth line of defense is my Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous; it contains my daily battle plan. Together we form an impenetrable web of protection against a relapse. Finally, I have my higher power. He is the general on the battlefield who synchronizes all my defenses into a formidable army that is unbeatable. I am not the general in this war. When I was the general of my life, my life was a series of disasters or pending disasters. The general of my army, my higher power, is much better suited for the job. As long as I keep my army well taken care of, I will be prepared to face the challenge of a relapse. I will be prepared to defeat that inevitable mental assault that will push me to take that first drink.
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